A College Education

Today, at precisely 4:46, I had the rare opportunity to use my college education...applied Science if you will.
There it was, on the floor, staring at me, a bona-fide, "real life" application my teachers always talked about.
This sticky situation required a keen understanding of Science, Mathematics, and Psychology.
How shall I extract the matted down feces from the clutches of my carpet?

Real life application:

Science- What tools would be most advantageous in the extraction process?
Which chemicals must be administered to disinfect this microbial mess?
And which chemicals will remove the intruder (aka the mound of squashed poo on my carpet) without removing the color from the carpet fibers?
Psychology- In an effort to not retch everywhere, I recall the power of mantras and chant to myself "mind over matter", "mind over matter." I also mentally free myself from this potentially demoralizing situation and escape to my happy place inside.
Mathematics- How many wipees, and papers towels will be required to free my carpet of this odorous occupant? And is it cost effective?
And finally, how much will it cost to have this square footage professionally cleaned if I do not meet with success?


Now I do have photos of the specimens...but will spare you.
However, Nathan did receive them via email...but that was strictly for scientific purposes.

And that my friend, is why we go to college.